No-Fun Food

I am about to embark on an odyssey that sounds like about as much fun as an Amish quilting bee. Due to ongoing stomach issues, my doctor has told me I need to eliminate wheat for two whole weeks. And yes, I have had to do this before, but let me be honest here; I wasn't that diligent.

I attempted this last January and I lasted about a week. This was mostly due to the fact that wheat is in EVERYTHING. In fact it most likely is found in trace amounts on the keyboard I am currently using. It is that insidious. I realized this as I was wandering the aisles of Hy-Vee desperately looking for a salad dressing that didn't include derivatives of ol'wheaty. I spent about twice my food budget on wheat-like substitutes like waffles and pizza dough. And in case you were wondering, they taste nothing like the real deal. After suffering the indignity of paying $8 for a package of 4 frozen waffles and realizing they tasted like wet cardboard, I was done with this experiment.

So, here I am again, and this time I am going to give it the full two weeks. I am determined to get to the bottom of my stomach issues and I need to grow up and be an adult. I suppose this would be easier if I wasn't a food addict. I think about food from the morning I wake up until I go to bed. This isn't just because I am fat, I genuinely like to cook and enjoy the sensations of eating. (I remember I once read an article that said people with ADHD tend to have food issues and are overweight because they crave the constant stimulation that eating provides. See? It's not really my fault.)

I think I will embark on this journey next Monday. I want to enjoy pizza at the Wow Zone today and Jeff mentioned going to Donatelli's this Saturday. It would be a crime to go to Donatelli's, (which was featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on the Food Network), and not have pizza and pasta. Who drives 100 miles to a famous Italian joint only to have a salad? I mean, please.

I will keep you updated on my progress, and on Monday I will have a delcious dinner consisting of air and disappointment.